In the skyscraper
of sins,
Here I am,
Smoking like
a chimney.
In the
downpour of doubts,
Here I am,
Living another
mystery.
In the
circus of nonsense,
Here I am,
Yawning away
the ennui.
In the enigma of beliefs,
Here I am,
Burning down
the blasphemy.
In the ocean
of wisdom,
Here I am,
Erasing my own
history.
Copyright © 2012 Vaishali Jain
Written for Mag 126 and Vice Versa - #7
This poem has been published in a poem anthology, Convergence: A Global Collection of Poetry.
This poem has been published in a poem anthology, Convergence: A Global Collection of Poetry.
so here comes (again) ur very own n old writing style i.e. dark n painful realities...bt indeed it is beautifully dark(n short fr ur style)..plus d usage of d very right words make it more amazing!!keep it up sis :)
ReplyDeletelol babes! I still write disheartened and dark stuff, it's just that they are locked inside the pages of my diary. They would never see the light of this world - the world that needs some positivity.
DeleteHell, okay, keeping my sanity, I'd say, thank you for appreciating and I am SO SO SO glad that you called it as "beautifully dark" :)
Cool write! Has a great rhythm.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mama Zen! :)
DeleteAmazing poetry and beautiful rhymes!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laxmi! Glad you liked it. :)
DeleteVery nice VJ..the last stanza is my fav.....really very very good....
ReplyDeleteAww thank you SO SO much, Sreeja! Enjoy! ;)
DeleteI really enjoyed the 'here I am' theme running through your poem. Nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks for appreciating the rhythm, Helen! :) Have a good day.
DeleteWe live and, hopefully we learn from our mistakes. I hope this person knows her true worth :) It sounds so sad, to me.
ReplyDeleteThat's very kind of you to care for a character. Thanks for sharing your feeling. :)
DeleteThe second last stanza is my favorite. I like the idea of burning down one's own blasphemy. Even recognizing one's own blasphemy is hard, I think.
ReplyDelete(Thanks for taking part in Vice/Versa! Nice to have you there!)
Thank you, Mary, for appreciating the words! It is good to know what is liked in the poem.
DeleteI'll be at Vice Versa...again and again and again! ;)
very nice lines.... i had written so much but thanks to blogger.com..everything vanished ... :) yet the lines are mirror for almost all of us ! very nice poem !
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it got all erased but thanks for typing it up again. Nice of you to do so. :) :)
DeleteI especially like "skyscraper of sins"...well done...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tess! :)
DeleteLovely! I want to discover that ocean of wisdom...and float about for a while!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karen! Have a great and enlightening day. :)
DeleteI like how you made it to the last stanza from the first... a feeling almost dark and hopeless of sin to "In the ocean of wisdom,/Here I am,/Erasing my own history. Well done.
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it, Serena! Thanks for appreciating. :)
DeleteVery fine poem. Good work.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rhonda. :)
DeleteNice lines vaishali...
ReplyDeleteThanx for landing in my world :)
Come again :)
Thanks, Noopur! I will, surely! :)
DeleteVery powerful piece. In erasing our own history, we permit ourselves not to repeat it :)
ReplyDeleteExactly! Thank you for visiting and leaving your thoughts. :)
Deleteso sad and too often true, the erasing of one's own history.
ReplyDeleteYes, Victoria! It is!
DeleteThank you.. :)
Thank you for letting me know that you didn't see the word 'doubt' in my poem. You were right, it wasn't there. It had been originally, but in a revision I must have removed it. It IS there now, thanks to your sharp eyes and willingness to mention it!
ReplyDeleteAnytime, Mary! And I checked your poem again... an intelligent use of the word. :)
Delete"In the skyscraper of sins,
ReplyDeleteHere I am,
Smoking like a chimney"
This aptly describes the situation for most people. We're not short of committing sins. Sadly many of us continue to do so even though being made aware. Thoughtful haiku, Vaishali!
Hank
Totally agree with your words, Hank! And thank you so much for appreciating. Was it a haiku? I didn't try to make it so. Would have been co-incidental. :)
DeleteReally nice, I liked the way you weaved the various emotions here.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Saru! :)
DeleteI like the way you put a new twist on smoking like a chimney in the stanza. Annette at http://hoofprintsinmygarden.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/the-leap/
ReplyDeleteThank you, Annette! :)
Delete:) Nice
ReplyDelete"Here I am
A grain of sand
On the shores of Universe!"
And that's a great one! Too true! Thank you for letting me in your thoughts too. :)
Delete